Photo from Chip Somodevilla / Getty Images
By Janelle Clausen
Have you ever felt like a class dragged on way too long? Most of us have. But imagine sitting there for 11 hours, already knowing everything.
This was essentially the case for Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton, who was the key subject of the Republican-dominated House Benghazi Committee for 11 hours.
The Committee was established to investigate the 2012 Benghazi attacks that led to the deaths of four Americans, including Ambassador J. Christopher Stevens, but some top Republicans have tried to use it to reduce Clinton’s poll numbers.
It lasted so long that #freehillary trended on Twitter and Facebook. The Editorial Board of the New York Times described it as “pointless grilling” and “served only to embarrass the Republican lawmakers who have spent millions of dollars on a political crusade.”
Clinton escaped largely unscathed, but I’m sure there are plenty of more productive things we’d rather be doing if we were in her position…
Here’s a list of 35 possible alternatives:
1) Bake 535 cupcakes (one for each member of Congress), each saying an unpleasant thing about the intended recipient.
2) Listen to every single “Star Wars” movie track, the soundtracks for both the “Knights of the Old Republic” video games and “Star Wars: Republic Commando.”
3) Watch the extended “Lord of the Rings” trilogy or the standard trilogy, and then cry for two hours after.
4) Read through “To Kill a Mockingbird.”
5) Actually do all your reading for the next week or so.
6) Run two marathons with a break in between, assuming you’re in shape.
7) Drive to Washington D.C. to yell at the Benghazi Committee, and then drive back.
8) Listen to “Shake it Off” 180 times, which is exactly what Clinton’s been doing lately.
9) Watch the glory that is the “Force Awakens” trailer between 250 and 300 times, depending on where you skip and restart.
10) Paint a 12-by-12 foot room, then watch the paint dry.
11) Typing at an average 40 words per minute, write 26,400 words, a novella-length story, complaining about the Benghazi Committee.
12) Write 17 pages of a case study and get nothing wrong.
13) Participate in the world’s longest tennis match.
14) Move ever closer to heart disease, since working 11 hours a day can raise your risk of heart disease by 67 percent.
15) Climb Mount Everest (don’t actually try it though, please).
16) Murder your Macbook Air’s battery.
17) Watch the extended edition of the “Godfather” trilogy and spend about an hour crying afterwards.
18) Survive Season 1 of “Game of Thrones.”
19) Torment yourself by watching every single televised Republican debate, including the undercard ones.
20) Speed read “Great Expectations” by Charles Dickens.
21) Read “All’s Well That Ends Well” by William Shakespeare at least seven times.
22) Drive from New York City to Indianapolis.
23) Drive about halfway to Dallas from New York City.
24) Travel on a private ferry from Florida to Cuba to Florida and almost make it back to Cuba a second time.
25) Try on and model about 110 outfits (6 minutes each on average).
26) Lay out a newspaper complaining about the hearings and print it out for everyone to read.
27) Get through the Mets sweep of the Cubs (well, it was 12:47 total, but the Mets basically won in the first inning of the last game so I’m counting it).
28) Drive to Niagara Falls in Canada from Stony Brook and have a few pitstops along the way.
29) Travel through four countries (France, Belgium, the Netherlands and Germany) to reach Berlin from Paris.
30) Shower, schedule a manicure, pedicure, massage, fancy appointment at a hair salon and do a good job with your makeup. Then do it all again.
31) Rearrange and clean your entire house, because why not?
32) Cook three 16 pound turkeys.
33) Hand-write letters to everyone you care about and hide them in fun places.
34) Code an entire website from scratch for your online portfolio. I don’t guarantee the quality.
35) Actually catch up on sleep.