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Artificial Never Tastes Like The Real Thing

By Dustin Herlich
Science Editor

Artificial banana flavor tastes nothing like banana, and was first discovered to be a fantastic degreaser for power plants and large diesel engines. Artificial fat substitutes such as Olestra™ and others like it give people explosive diarrhea. Artificial sweeteners cause cancer in Martians. Artificial pride and artificial traditions cause revolt, disgust and dissatisfied students.

The University has lost all sense of reality when it comes to the student body. Administrators think they know what we want, give us those things, then go out of their way to find students who actually support their position, while 99% of the rest of us don’t. It’s an absurd cycle. You can’t create pride by forcing employees to wear obnoxious red shirts all of a sudden. You can’t build spirit by asking us to wear ugly hats, and then giving us lukewarm incentives to actually wear them. Stop treating the school like a corporation, stop treating the students like consumers, and start treating this institution seriously, as a school. Not a kindergarten either, a real school, a university.

Creating a tradition from the top down is stupid. The students will reject it, it’ll make for a boring event, and no one will be happy but the yutz who dreamed up the event and has convinced his or herself that it is a success. Wolfstock is meaningless. Homecoming here is trite, too small, and students are very much uninvolved. Earthstock has potential, but it has to have more direct support from certain offices on campus.

Why break down an art studio in Nassau Hall, and sterilize the rest of the building? Old message boards and the like add to an otherwise soulless campus. Ripping down buildings and putting new ones up that are more at home at an industrial park helps nobody. This campus is not meant for students any more, it’s meant as a corporate watering hole and moneymaker. Board members with fat cigars don’t want to see college charm; they want long marble conference tables, white walls, and bare bulletin boards. They want uniformed employees, and a subdued proletariat (students). They want to be wined and dined in the Wang Center, and they want to be able to sell products to students (a captive market) at prices that should be illegal (and probably are).

Who does it help when all we have is a thin façade? In Soviet Russia, they had entire towns literally made of cardboard and wood. They were painted with painstaking detail, so that westerners who were driven on roads at just the right distance from these “villages” and “factories” would actually believe these things were real. Stony Brook and its traditions are the same. To an outsider, it actually looks like a lot goes on here, and students may actually participate in these events. The reality is that the administration is putting on a show. Money and effort is pumped into a façade. Instead of properly fixing the clay liner to Roth pond, it’s re-filled every few days with a fire hose, especially when prospective freshman may be on tour. At commencement, plants are planted where really all there is normally is broken bottles, used condoms and the remains of wounded student pride.

Yes, students actually want concerts. No other university in the world has the problems we do getting musical acts to perform. No, Sugar Ray is not music. It’s an act that maybe some high school girls want to see. Rap and hip-hop are fairly popular amongst some students, but personally, I don’t enjoy that kind of music one bit. Why can’t we have Cream stop here on their tour? Or Nine Inch Nails? Or a million other bands that come to New York all the time, and would probably play here.

Why do you advertise certain media organizations, and members of that organization (even if they were drummed out for having destroyed any possible positive reputation that organization may have had left) in Happenings and other University newsletters, but ignore the students who actually do good things on campus, or the other award- winning media outlets on campus, of which there are several?

Why not put some money into making students happier? They’re trying to give away dorm rooms, but you still insist on building new ones. Where is the logic in that? Dorms are no longer convenient, are vastly overpriced, and legitimate student concerns about bad roommates, bad suitemates, noise, filth, and uncaring employees are largely ignored or brushed aside. Instead of building dorms, destroying forests, and building a shopping strip on the academic mall or a needless Rec Center, take that money and fix the Student Union. Restore classes which were cut thanks to recent state budget cuts. Create additional parking spaces instead of ticketing poor students for allegedly parking "illegally" in a half-empty Stadium lot on a Friday afternoon. Stop the ridiculous oppression against actual events the students care about, like I-CON.

Want to increase school spirit and make students happier? Cut food prices 10% across the board. Instead of a wine and cheese reception for corporate fat cats at the Wang Center, let us use it for China Night or another similar event. Instead of inventing fire marshal codes, allow something that hasn’t been anywhere near a fire hazard in 20 years to be left alone. Instead of requiring that all doors be closed, let us keep doors open. Since when is this a fire hazard? Why do they even make door stops then? Really? Come on now. Of all the stupid things to do, why have us close doors that have always been open? Closed doors are unfriendly, and lead to student unhappiness and apathy. Enrolment is down because when you squash student life like this, and oppress students like this, the university is no longer a “best buy,” it’s a no-go. Academics are good here, but if life is unbearable, you’ll have the problems you are having now. Lower enrollment, bad ratings, and dissatisfied students.

Give us a break, and I bet you’ll even get some positive press. It should be said, though, that there are some administrators who do care about students, and some who are trying, and you know who you are. As for those of you who read this with guilty consciences though, maybe you should do something to clear that conscience.

Disclaimer: the opinions expressed in this article are those of the author, and not necessarily those of the Stony Brook Independent or its editorial staff.

Yes, students actually want concerts. No other university in the world has the problems we do getting musical acts to perform.

Why does Stony Brook have trouble putting on shows? I went to a recent SAB (Student Activities Board) musical event, billed as "Rock Show", featuring two local groups. There was a lot of security and the atmosphere, I thought, was pretty depressing.

Also, I would really like for there to be an active venue on campus that accomodated punk/hard-core acts. There's a scene on Long Island that Stony Brook should be a part of.

There were a couple of concerts in the early 90's, one of them involving Fishbone I believe, which basically turned into riots (or that's what the university would have us believe)....the story as I know it is that Fishbone went over their allotted time, security moved in and told everyone to leave, Fishbone kept performing, and all hell broke loose. I'm sure other people would have more to add about it. In any case, that was in 1991 or 92, and if you visit www.wusb.fm/sbconcerts you will see that after that year, there was a SHARP drop in the amount of concerts, and the quality of those concerts, with for the most part, "safe" acts coming to school.

A couple of years ago the Press helped organize a free concert with the Get Up Kids, which I hear was packed. While some people I know personally didn't like the concert, the fact is that a student group was able to organize this (with A LOT of difficulty) and put on a show, for free, for the entire campus. Since then, however, the office of Student Activities has made it pretty much impossible for the Press or anyone else to hold a similar concert, citing security and other such nonsense.

It really does seem that the Office of Student Affairs and the Office of Student Activities are absolutely determined to squash any sort of student life except for the safe, tried and true acts that they sanction. They lost a ton of money on the Dave Chappelle and Kanye West shows, security was oppressive at best and totalitatian at worst, tickets were expensive, and the fact is, only a small percentage of the entire student body cared or went to either show. A few years ago when Sugar Ray performed, the audience basically consisted of teenage girls. Compare that with the 60's, 70's and 80's and it's pretty depressing to see what the university has sunk to.

Godfrey Palaia of the University Cafe is a major proponent of bringing concerts and live acts to Stony Brook, but he faces the same obstacles and roadblocks that we all face. The University Cafe often has live performances and in general is a positive contributor to what little positive student life and expression exists on campus, however, the Cafe is tiny and ill-suited for most performances...I'm pretty sure no more than 70 or 80 people can crowd in there at best.

All I'll say to conclude is that Dustin's op-ed is right on the money, in my opinion. While there are a number of administrators and faculty who genuinely care, all too often the people that run things on campus have no regard or knowledge of students' wants and needs. This has bred a culture of apathy and negativity not seen in most other universities. Just imagine there was a "Stonypalooza" one weekend, maybe during the spring, with a bunch of local acts and maybe, as the main attraction, one nationally known act. The newly-reconstructed Staller Pit would be perfect. I'm sure that thousands of students would stay on campus for a weekend for something like that. Right now, there's no incentive for students to stay, however.

In my opinion, the campus is ill suited for indoor rock shows. However, something amazing can happen when you set up a stage out in a field. The new staller center amphitheatre looking thing even adds to that premise- it looks like an ideal place to hold a nice outdoor show. Of course- there is a problem- We only have school for about two months/semester that are actually friendly to that sort of thing. Otherwise it's too cold.

Also, the long island scene is just bad emo like taking back sunday. (of course, if the campus became more active, that might change)

In my opinion, the campus is ill suited for indoor rock shows.

It's true that Stony Brook might not be well suited for a large indoor arena-style rock concert. But to be honest I really don't like big shows that much. I'd much rather have smaller more regularly scheduled shows. Of course having a huge annual outdoor music festival would be something completely different, like insanely cool.

Also, the long island scene is just bad emo like taking back sunday.

It's not that the long island scenesters are all emo. It's that emo's the new pop. Everyone, everywhere, has all gone emo. Radio is emo. MTV is emo. I'm emo. It's crazy and out of control! *sob* But there's still a lot of good punk culture out here, and we could be a big part of that. Stony Brook could be the hub of the Long Island music scene. I think that would be pretty amazing.

There were a couple of concerts in the early 90's, one of them involving Fishbone I believe, which basically turned into riots... after that year, there was a SHARP drop in the amount of concerts, and the quality of those concerts, with for the most part, "safe" acts coming to school.

Of course safety is a serious issue, and it's one reason why I might not be comfortable advocating for the kind of acts that I would want to see. But shouldn't there be some sort of happy medium? There has to be some way to prevent the occurrence of a serious incident but still retain the genuine experience of the culture. The few shows that I've seen on campus have been sterile and completely sapped of the energy and vitality that got me hooked on live music when I was younger.

Since then, however, the office of Student Activities has made it pretty much impossible for the Press or anyone else to hold a similar concert, citing security and other such nonsense.

I think that we all agree that the culture on campus needs work, but I don't think that it's productive to dismiss the concerns of the administration. If they did support an event that led somehow to tragedy, we might be equally quick to criticize them for that as well. Security is a serious issue, but I think that if there were an organized effort by students that addressed this and other such important issues, then we might be successful in effecting substantial progress in this area.

They lost a ton of money on the Dave Chappelle and Kanye West shows, security was oppressive at best and totalitatian at worst, tickets were expensive, and the fact is, only a small percentage of the entire student body cared or went to either show.

I'm not absolutely sure about this, but I remember hearing that the Dave Chappelle show was a huge success. As far as these events turning a profit, I'm pretty sure that isn't the intent. These shows are organized by the Student Activities Board, which is funded by student government. Their goal shouldn't be to make money off of us. It's our student activity fee that's paying for all of it anyway.

Just imagine there was a "Stonypalooza" one weekend, maybe during the spring, with a bunch of local acts and maybe, as the main attraction, one nationally known act.

Stonypalooza would be unbelievable. It would be even better if it were entirely student organized. Maybe the role of the Independent should be to focus on issues like this one. To do the research and build the awareness necessary for these kinds of initiatives to take form. I think there's room for an activist media outlet on campus. Maybe that's just what Stony Brook needs.

Its always great when people dream. Hopefully we can turn some of them into reality. Until then, I think New York (city) is our biggest local scene right now. It has a lot of the best venues, for large shows and small. I personally prefer the small shows as well, but small things dont seem to resonate with admin.
Its pretty hard to deal with the fact that the potential market population is in the thousands. We are our own little city, and I dont think we're acting like it. Everything is so wonderfully diverse- and yet- its so homogeneous.

I'm glad so many people have been reading my stuff, and I'm glad that everyone sees what I'm saying about a lot of this, but the concerts are just a symptom of a much greater issue eating away at student life.

I think that students need to voice their feelings more. With an undergraduate population of something like 15,000 we are clearly not properly representing the students with our activities, and we are dissolusioning even greater numbers, and prospective students with superficial and poorly run events.

Has anybody heard about the Jimmy EatWorld/Taking Back Sunday Tour coming to Stony Brook? I've heard that this show is being organized by an independent promoter, which is to say that it isn't being organized by USG/SAB. Apparently it's being held in the Sports Complex on April 19th and tickets are still available at $23.50 per ticket.

I agree that there is a lot to be desired when it comes to beautifying the campus, which goes a long way in keeping students and people happy while at Stony Brook. We, the students, though, don't help ourselves when there are more trashcans on campus than students and little effort is made in putting the trash where it belongs. Maybe we should take our scrupulous acts inside so that the waste you mentioned can be disposed of properly. As for the landscaping, I believe it's difficult to maintain much plant life when you have those mini snowplows wrecking up the place everytime we have snow. In addition Stony Brook only has about 3 months of warm weather. I would say, though, that the campus has come a long way over the years in beautifying itself, which isn't a quick and easy process. Of course, there is still a lot to be desired and done before a student could be heard saying that the Stony Brook campus is actually a cool place to be.

I know plenty of people who go to stony brook i'm from long island my self and they all hate the dorms they've told me stories about leaving windows open on the first floor and having people walk by at night peaking in and even telling them they should close the windows since it's not safe to leave them open. Really crazy if thats the case. stony brook should re consider their priorities when it comes to student housing. If anyone is looking to advertise their business in the area check out Long Island Placemat Advertising